About ten minutes ago, I killed a bird, don't know the species or sub-species thereof, not more than a few yards from where am writing this.
Because, from its motions and actions, I could tell that it had ingested some of the poison that the employees of a local Mexican supermarket just south of me had laid out for the local pigeons, and had seen some of the same actions and motions displayed by some of those same pigeons as they lay dying in parts of my condo complex.
Whatever sort of poison the poor bird ingested, it was in agony.
At the time, was walking back and forth to the dumpster to put various bits of trash in it, and saw the poor thing struggling.
Originally, was going to wait until it died, then put it in a plastic bag and put it in the dumpster.
But, with each trip I made, I saw that, however much it'd stopped moving from time to time, it was still alive and in agony.
It was after either the fourth or fifth trip, I believe, that I decided that I would have to end its misery and life, so that it wouldn't suffer any further than it already had.
So, I got a plastic bag, went over to where it lay, and tried breaking its neck, the first couple of times by grabbing its beak and twisting its little head all the way 'round counter-clockwise, then once by pulling up on its beak, bending the head in all the way towards the bird's body.
No dice. Must not have been doing it hard enough.
Was never trained for this, as I didn't grow up on a farm and learn how to twist chickens' necks, so, yeah, I did it badly and undoubtedly increased the poor creature's fear and suffering exponentially.
There were times I looked down upon the bird, it looked up at me, our eyes met, and I apologised to it for what I was doing to it.
But, it was a living being, already in great pain, and then to have something far larger than itself come along and ineptly try to kill it, was perhaps the final injury and insult added on to the ones it had already received.
An apology is the very LEAST I could have done for it under the circumstances.
Anyhow, finally resolved to get a kitchen knife and cut off its head, rather than try and break its neck any more.
So, I went back to my place, got a kitchen knife out of the dishwasher, walked over to the bird, and, after placing the plastic bag I'd with me all this time over its head, began sawing away at its neck.
Sure enough, within 15-30 seconds of doing that, the bird was dead. Knew this because I'd stopped when it stopped moving to see.
Put the plastic bag over its corpse, not fully decapitated, by the way, and, apologising to it for the undignified death and burial it had undergone, and was about to undergo, I placed it as gently as I could in the dumpster.
Death is never easy to endure nor watch, whatever form it takes, nor is it as easy to inflict,whether on a bird, other animal or human, as some might think it is.
Perhaps, for them, it is.
Not for me.
The main regrets I have are two, the first being that I so badly botched euthanising the bird as I did. His death should have been quick and clean, but, thanks to my lack of training and inexperience in this matter, it was harder than it had to be for the bird.
The second is that the bird even got close to the poison laid out by the supermarket's employees.
This has been going on for at least two years now, and has got to stop, or be stopped.
Will have to speak to Animal Control and the Humane Society about this.
In the meantime, may the bird rest in peace. It surely deserves it after the kind of inconsiderate and ineptly handled poisoning and death it got.
Be seeing you.